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Pox On You All! You Ain’t Gettin’ This Ship!

Posted on by Odds Bodkin

A POX ON YOU ALL! YOU AIN’T GETTIN’ THIS SHIP!

After Phineas Krull murders the Grand Builderguilder and he and his pirate crew steal The Waistgold, they think they’re free of the denizens of Port Sqwunk. But that’s not the case. Their pursuers want one thing: The Waistgold and her gem-studded wood.

Me spyglass reveals a damn sixty-oared frigate,
Five times our size easy and loaded with Sqwunks.
With at least ten sails up and her cannons, 12-pounders,

Bebristlin’ her rails, she looks ready fer blood.
Below in ‘er galleys, big Roachers be rowin’,
Singin’ songs ‘o the spirit to pass off their pain,
Hungry eyes on each other to see who’ll die first.
Never thought they’d be comin’, but then I sees why.
‘Tis a damn Builderguilder, not ‘im who be dead,
But another––he the brother?–– with a glass to ‘is eye.

Right, the dead one’s brother or a partner in crime
All hot full ‘o vengeance and wanting ‘er back.
Seein’ me seein’ ‘im as we stares ‘cross the space,
I says, “Pox on you all! You ain’t gettin’ this ship!”

Here’s a quick video introduction to this new performance work by Odds Bodkin:

Be in the audience at Grendel’s Den on Harvard Square this coming Sunday the 27th for the live show!

VOYAGE OF THE WAISTGOLD

A Premier Performance

Sunday Feb. 27, 2022 at 5 pm EST

LIVE AT GRENDEL’S DEN on Harvard Square

Tickets: $35

SHE BUILT IT. LET HER HAVE IT.

Posted on by Odds Bodkin

SHE BUILT IT. LET HER HAVE IT.

In Voyage of the Waistgold, Phineas Krull, a poisoner and pirate, steals a ship he sees at the docks. With a waistband of gold around its gunwales, the ship is unlike anything he’s seen.

 

‘Tis not just the wheel what’s becrusted with gems,

For the ebony beams sport fat emeralds in rows

Seemin’ lit from behind inside finely carved scrolls

Among faces, creatures, temples, odd leaves,

And wrought geometrics o’ the Golden Mean.

 

In a blood-soaked book Phineas reads who ordered it built: young Ood, an orphaned enchantress queen from far to the north. According to the book, she’s probably dead. Her land was in flames when the scribe who wrote the book escaped.

The problem is, it turns out Queen Ood is very much alive. And once she does the impossible and finds Krull on the open sea, she wants her boat back. He lets her and her soldiers come aboard. A confrontation soon follows.

 

“I’d like you to leave,” she says, facin’ the windows,

Unwillin’ to share any truths in ‘er eyes.

“As ye wish, lady queen. Ye may sleep in this cabin.

Know this, though: The Waistgold, tomorrow at dawn,

Sets ‘er sails as she was, ‘fore your boats come a’flyin’.

We’s still headin’ west. Ye can fight, leave or ride.

So please do consider just what ye might do

To avoid unpleasantries fer ye and yer crew.”

 

She understands the danger she faces demanding what is now a pirate ship. It’s the beginning of an astonishing relationship.

I’ll be performing Voyage of the Waistgold in one week, at Grendel’s Den on Harvard Square. In this original fantasy world, I’ll perform the tale in pirate patois, with Phineas Krull as the narrator. If you come, be sure to bring a thick skin; this story is guaranteed to leave no one unoffended. It’s adult fun.

Have some food and drink, and then be among the first to experience this tale.

Odds Bodkin

Voyage of the Waistgold

Sunday, Jan. 27, 2022 at 5 pm EST

Grendel’s Den in Cambridge MA

Tickets $35